Babies are Humans, too!
I want to help new and expectant parents, people who may already be with a baby or may be considering making one, to see babies as full human beings.
Interaction is a baby’s primary need & nurture!
A baby is the primary human. And the physical pleasure of socially interacting with others is their PRIMARY NURTURE. They are real people. They sense and they know. Their experience is real and really does matter.
Learning to sense your own inner aliveness may help you connect to your baby more deeply
There is a vast inner aliveness in each of us. We live mostly unaware of this – but when we are shown how to notice it, it’s like coming alive for the first time. Their are teachers, coaches and groups where one can learn to enter one’s vast interior.
Beginning to notice your inner aliveness
You know when someone says something that doesn’t sit right with you? Remember how that feels inside? Even before thoughts (labels, judgements) run through your mind like: that was mean; that wasn’t nice. I don’t like you. I’ll get you back one day.
Before those thoughts form you can learn to notice a sense of something inside you drop, flip, sink, tighten? Have you felt that? Let’s see: it might be you shared something really serious with someone and they laughed at you for feeling or saying that! That doesn’t feel great. And you might sense a whole set of feelings start to move around inside you, one after the other.To learn more go to
Most of us live too busy to catch what’s happening inside, at this deep level of bodily experience. But we can learn to sit with it, to notice it. And when we do, very often: it can open up & speak to us, it can change, sometimes the feeling changes entirely. Sometimes surprisingly. Just taking the time to notice closely or share with someone who can listen well – can shift the feeling! And now I feel lighter! My inner world has changed and I’m not stuck carrying that not great experience I had earlier.
It’s better when you have a friend (or just someone) to listen and really hear you. And even better when there’s a circle of folk who are there to listen to each other’s feelings including these inner sensings. And sometimes it’s hard to describe and you have to use brand new strange or silly sounding words or made up terms: I have a strange feeling in my stomach and a picture popped into my head of a little mouse racing on a wheel going round and round forever. Poor little mouse. I sense how tired he’s getting. How did he get stuck on this wheel that even when it turns faster and faster he doesn’t ever get anywhere?
The body is a warehouse of inner sensings we carry around
I’ve lived a long time carrying a bunch of various feelings – and let’s call them sensings to distinguish them from emotions. They kind of get stuck in your body and you then have to carry them around. Until you find a restful moment with a willing person or circle and can explore, track and name them and give them some open attention. Then they become free to turn, change, develop, open up and tell you their story or disappear, grateful for your attention – all kinds of things can happen. And usually you feel a breath coming because: Oh my gosh, I’m so much lighter now!!
One teach who worked teaching kids to sense into their inner experiencing, used the idea of an elevator: the child steps into their own elevator, can go down, can push the buttons to stop at any floor they want, wherever they get a sense there might be stories or feelings that pull them or that they feel curious about and want to spend time with along the way.
Babies are born connected to their inner aliveness
Well, here’s the main part: this experiencing began in each of us a long long time ago. Because before we had language, we had awareness. We used touch, smell, all our senses and an ability to sense the intention of the people near us, and to sense how they are feeling, inside themselves, too.
We live in a living web of interactions and babies are born of and into that fabric and have all those abilities – except for our kind of language. They have a language that uses their body, face, hands, eyes, breath – even though they do not have the ability to reduce their experience into words. Words point to experience and are also a kind of experience and can sometimes deepen or sharpen experience, but mostly represent or point to experience.
That’s partly why babies can sense so completely and fully. They cannot reduce it, file it, pigeonhole it. They don’t know if it’s ever going to stop or if it’s ever going to happen again. They have it fully and only. Being with them, near them, holding them is all the comfort and reassurance they need. Especially if we can be steady for them.
Sum of it all:
BABIES ARE FULLY ALIVE HUMAN BEINGS. THEY ARE SENSORY GENIUSES. THEY ARE COMPETENT AT BIRTH TO EXPRESS THEIR NEEDS, AND TO INVITE AND ENJOY CONNECTION – THEIR MOST BASIC NEED. THEY SENSE THEIR OWN EXPERIENCE. THEY SENSE YOUR PRESENCE. THEY SENSE HOW YOU FEEL, HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF AND HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THEM. AND YOU ARE THEIR PRIMARY ENVIRONMENT!
Stay Tuned: More to come!
Stay tuned here because more on and from babies is coming: a comic book, a workshop; a cartoon of babies speaking their minds; likely an app millenials, a webinar on how to soothe your baby taught by babies and video flashcards to teach new parents The Universal Preferences of Newborns!